Create the Life You Desire
I spent the last five years trying to change my relationships. I gave myself permission to pursue and experience deep intimacy instead of staying in a marriage that had run its course. My husband and I separated, then got a divorce. (I could write a whole article about how to overcome fear of ending a … Read more
Conscious living is dangerous territory. There are pitfalls, big black holes to be aware of lest you plummet into one! “Oh no!” you say, “Shall I turn back and resume my lame unconscious and unfulfilling life?” I don’t think that’s necessary. Let’s just take a closer look at what happens when we take conscious living … Read more
My inner critic told me that I write because I’m self-absorbed, or maybe just deluded. She said that underneath the desire to write lurks the grandiose idea that I’m a creative person or uniquely interesting. Some preposterous notion that I’m right about something. Or just the hubris that I have something to say that is … Read more
I’m never bored. It’s not because I have some magic list of what to do when bored. I just don’t experience boredom, perhaps in the same way that a sociopath doesn’t experience empathy. In the past I’ve tried to explain this to bored friends (who were certainly not bored from hanging out with me, ahem, … Read more
Motherhood is hard. It is by far the most demanding and relentless responsibility I’ve ever had. The full reality of parenthood is not often talked about. There’s a lot of hype about how rewarding it is . . . yes . . . and . . . I never hear about any pre-parenthood counseling that … Read more
Anyone who has ever devoted the full intensity of honed human attention to a task knows that even the most mundane act has something deeper to offer. When we stay present with whatever we are doing, even a simple chore is an opportunity for transformation . This particular example of how chores can reveal hidden … Read more
Caveat: this article mentions some statistics on marriage only to reveal a trend in our regard (and perhaps capacity) for a long-term relationship. But the discussion here applies to any human relationship, short or long or backed by a government certificate or not. I now present to you Love, Ego, and the Long Run, a … Read more
The greatest threat to our freedom is so close to us we often miss it. Picture yourself fast asleep. Someone is asking you to wake up, but you are deep in a dream, and the call to awaken is experienced as a vague awareness that something is not quite right. We are in that dream, … Read more
“something as simple as a hat can be profoundly and profanely illuminating, if you know how to read the signs” – Avery Gordon* This quote was scribbled into a notebook of mine from nearly 20 years ago. The words always intrigued me, and over the years they would haunt my thoughts, reappearing unexpectedly in moments … Read more
Surrender. A word I did not use much until I had children, and then it emerged as one of the central experiences of motherhood. Yet one does not have to be a parent to embrace this concept. The ability to surrender is a powerful tool for mastering your thoughts and emotions. The next time you … Read more