Halloween Can Destroy Social Conditioning and That’s Why I Love It


A powerful synchronicity happened yesterday. I had a coaching session with the amazing Jessica Summers. What emerged from the session was how hiding myself and filtering my self expression might actually be the reason that I struggle to have the kind of financial outcomes that I want in life. My own social conditioning is sabotaging my success. 

The spooky coincidence part is that right before I started the session I checked my Instagram account and a reel I made a couple days ago about the Halloween store being my favorite clothing store had about 100 views. During the 90 minute coaching session, the video went viral and skyrocketed to over 37,000 views, with a solid engagement rate. 

Why would this topic be so relatable? 

Because so many of us are masking. 

Halloween and its reign over the splendid month of October give us socially acceptable permission to adorn ourselves, to play, to pull out the costumes and the masks.  

But here is my point: I suspect that many of us are wearing masks and costumes the rest of the year. And I’m not making a pandemic reference here. Being “normal” is a costume. Social conditioning is a contortion, a way to chameleon, perhaps to please people, or to feel like we belong, whatever the motive may be. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who doesn’t succumb to this. I’d like to. If you’re out there, message me. 

One example is the expectations in the workforce to look professional. Do we have to present ourselves in a certain way to succeed in this world? I’m not saying that this isn’t true, but I am saying that to some extent, this is tragic. It’s a good idea to shower and wear clean clothes to the office. But shoving my creativity and uniqueness into a box so that I can “succeed” at my career isn’t working for me. It’s as if my soul turns into gas and seeps out the cracks in the poorly made box and erodes my corporate agendas.

And this phenomenon isn’t limited to our appearance. 

Social conditioning exerts its power every time we censor ourselves. 

Every time we choose an action that isn’t really what we want, but just what we think we “should” do. 

How much beauty, splendor, creativity is untapped, lying dormant in this kind of a world? 

How do we create a world where we can all feel safe to reveal ourselves? 

And . . . I’m going to get personal here, in the spirit of truth and vulnerability . .  Why is it that I have a fear that if I am truly myself, I won’t earn enough money? Some creepy programming that if I’m not playing by the rules of society and fitting in, then somehow I’m not going to succeed or even be able to support myself or sustain my lifestyle? Yikes.

Is participation in one collective fiction (social conditioning) required for another collective fiction (money) to exist?

These are just my initial raw thoughts on all of this. I’m still unpacking what this synchronicity means. I didn’t sleep well last night, there was a lot of nervous energy in my body. But I know that this coincidence was significant. It has all the qualities of a golden thread I need to follow. It is a breadcrumb from Reality that is showing me the work that needs to be done. 

It’s work that doesn’t feel like work. Because it’s the real me. It’s just me being me. Me doing me, looking like me talking like me, behaving like myself. Loving in the way that I can love. Writing in the way that I want to write. Living in the way that I want to live.

And this is the essence of living my best life.

So I invite you to join me, in facing the places where you have masked, worn a costume, tucked parts of yourself away, for whatever reason . . .maybe they don’t feel functional, maybe there’s some shame about them, maybe someone told you once it wasn’t cool, whatever. Let’s let ourselves be seen. 

What happens when we are seen? Then our true people can find us. Then we can actually make the connections that we will thrive in, because they are authentic. If we have revealed ourselves and someone wants to be with us or spend time with us or read our work or whatever the case may be, then that connection is real. Then we’ve provided true value just by existing.